craaaazzyyyy!!!!

So got in to work today to a mad house!!! Not in a bad way....but holy crap has it been busy.  At least the majority of the guests have been nice.  I got my nametag today! I am no longer labled Trainee...it feels so much more official now...I like it.
I also picked up my free rider tickets today.  I get to go to a game July 28th...pretty pumped not gonna lie....can't wait.
There was a mix up with councilling today...My reminder call told me the wrong time so I have to go back tomorrow morning...but its all good...I'll go there and head to the gym afterwards...and apparently Matt and I are going for coffee tomorrow so That is on the agenda also....I guess he reconsidered the being friends thing...If thats the case I'm really glad.  He's a good guy and it would be really sad to not have him in my life anymore.
don't really know what else to say...I'm just trying to occupy myself while I'm on my break....I'm sure I"ll have more to say tomorrow after councilling and coffee with Matt....

chillin in swifty

so I came down to swift current for a couple of days because there was a car for me to buy here...just had to get rid of mine first...so thats all happening tomorrow, lose one car, gain another.  Its not alot newer than mine...only two years...but its a 99 so that means I'm nearly into the 2000's...at least I was already in high school when this one came out lol.  Its kind of nice timing to get a new car...sometimes its just nice to have some kind of fresh start...

Today would have been 4 months for Matt and I...so thats been on my mind a bit...its not depressing...but it is sad when you think that if things had gone differently the other night that we may have had a nice day together today.  I just find myself thinking of him and hoping that he's ok.  When you care about someone you don't just forget about them...they come into your mind now and again and you find yourself wondering how they are doing.  I hope that he is alright and that he is trying to work on himself as I have been trying to work on myself.  I will be continuing to pray for him...

I'm sitting on the bed in Karli's room while I type this...and I can't help but think about what a cool chick she's turned into...and then of course I'm kind of sad about the fact that I don't know her very well.  I'm so bad at keeping in contact with people so I don't talk to her very often...and when I do she's very much about the 1 word answers...I've forgotten how to talk to a teenager I guess...and in truth I find her kind of intimidating...I don't know....i just miss my sister I guess...and don't know how to get back into her life.  Something that I will be praying about...

otherwise I don't really know what else to talk about....I'm really tired right now so I'm thinkin bed is a pretty darn good idea right now.  

just another day

So, I am trying to sell my car since there is an ever so slightly newer one that I can buy...but silly people are making me offers and then never getting back to me again.  it is very frustrating.  But on the plus side I went to the gym this morning, and that felt really great...I actually feel really good today in spite of the car frustration.  Not even really sure why I'm blogging today...I guess I'm just trying to get in the habit of writing on regular days too...well I think its time for me to slowly start getting ready for work in case I get a call about the car....keeping my fingers crossed.

one story ends...

Its late and I'm really tired...but thought it would be a good time to write here...Matt and I ended things tonight.  A few days ago we had a serious talk and decided to go on a break so that we could both do some thinking and praying...and we got together to talk tonight.  Going into the talk I was still torn to be honest...I think I would have been okay with whatever his conclusion had been.  It ended up being that he thought we should stop seeing each other...he said that he felt God was telling him that his role in my life was done...I don't completely agree with that...but I do think that this was for the best at this time.  I am sad, because Matt struggles with the idea of us still being friends...and I do care about him very much and would be incredibly disappointed if he were not in my life at all anymore.  I so strongly hope that we can still be friends...I know that he will absolutely remain in my heart and that I will continue to pray for him.
I think the one positive thing in this situation is simply my emotions....though there is sadness, I do feel very much at peace with this.  I know that Matt was there for me at a time when I really truly needed him...and I am so thankful to God for putting him in my life...but I know that God has given me the strength to stand on my own two feet...and that I can survive this.  If God did not see fit to keep Matt and I together, I know that someday He will send his match for me...and I pray that Matt finds his match someday as well.
The thing that keeps going through my head is that I'm okay...it still surprises me sometimes how differently things seem to affect me now.
Again a certain familiar tune is coming to mind....
Praise Him from whom all blessings flow. Praise Him all creatures here below. Praise Him above ye heavenly hosts. Praise Father Son and Holy Ghost.  Amen.