Afternoon session

Truthfully there aren't really words for what I am feeling today. I feel so close to God and I feel like he I helping me to pray. Like He is giving me the words because he knows that I struggle with praying out loud. I know that He knows all and that I could pray in silence but there is something to be said about saying things out loud...like its a more powerful proclamation to God...I think proclamation is the word I am looking for. I think mom is being really affected by this weekend as well...I'm really praying that God sends her on the road to healing...I just feel like she has been through enough... It's time to move forward with Gods help because there is no other way.

Friday morning

About to start the morning session...last night was really good...we shall see if today follows suit.

Day one women's retreat

So I'm at the women retreat at living waters camp...it's the camp that Elim uses as their summer camp. Mom came with me, I think it's going to be good for both of us. It's beautiful here...lots of trees...smells great...something about being in this type of environment is very soothing. I just generally have a really good feeling about it. Maybe it's being away from everything...no hustle and bustle of the city...no life stress to worry about for the time being....it's just nice. Our cabins suprised us...teeny little thing with a double bed, a bunk bed and it's own bathroom! Not something a person expects to get when going to a small camp like this. These are obviously great for family camp. I haven't been down to the lake yet but I am definitely going to take a picture when I do. There is a beautiful yellow lab out here that I seem to have made friends with...really makes me wish I had a place where I could have a pet. I would so love to have a dog of my own. A companion that takes some responsibility too...kind of like baby steps I guess...the more I do the more...but I just seem to have more of a drive in me...like something In Me is finally clicking In to the appropriate level of adulthood...I don't know...time will tell I guess

Just another day

So I got home from work a little while ago...not really tired so I thought I would come on here and write a bit. I saw Vi for coffee this morning... It was really good to talk to her. We talked about how things are going in my life and basically what is next. It's funny, she made me choose where we went even though I said I didn't care...she feels (and she's right) that I don't take control enough...that I am too passive and that I new to learn when to say 'no I don't like that place' and things like that. I thought it was interesting that she observe that since its not really something I have ever thought of as much of an issue. I jut thought I was really indecisive...which is true but when you are indecisive about little things it can lead to being passive about bigger things..at least that's the way that I am looking at it. We talked again about the retreat and that it's going to be a really good few days...we also talked about an Elijah house course that is coming up that she really thinks I need to go to. She basically said that she feels like I am supposed to use my story to help people and that I need to be fully equipped...I am going to make sure that I can go...I think she is right. I know that I would like to share my story if it means that it can help people...and I do want to make sure that I am able to do it the right way. I know that when the time comes for me to do that, God will provide me with the right words to say. He saved me for a reason, and I have made a promise to Him to fulfill what ever purpose He has for me.

Oops

So apparently I just come rely ignore this blog for the last month...not really sure why...just realized it now. I'm having a little trouble getting to sleep tonight so I thought I would come on here. I don't really know where to start talking...random thing, I got a new phone... So I am actually doing this post from it right now so that is pretty cool...it's really handy so maybe I won't keep forgetting to come on here and post... Time will tell I guess. Found out about a ladies retreat today through Elim... Managed to get the days off so that is fantastic.. I'm really looking forward to it. Sounds like mom is going to come too so that's awesome...I think it's something tht we both could benefit from. I went to church today with a new friend... Well at least I hope she is a new friend...but she came to church with me today so that was good... It would be nice to have someone to go with once in awhile. But I am proud to say that I was determined to go today whether I had someone to go with or not..which of course is not an easy thing for me...but I will do it for as long as I have to. Also I am thinking of joining the choir when it starts up in the fall... I feel it would be a good way for me to meet people...especially since singing is something I enjoy doing.
I think that is where I will end for today...I feel pretty tired so I am hoping I will be able to fall asleep now.