Its late and I'm really tired...but thought it would be a good time to write here...Matt and I ended things tonight. A few days ago we had a serious talk and decided to go on a break so that we could both do some thinking and praying...and we got together to talk tonight. Going into the talk I was still torn to be honest...I think I would have been okay with whatever his conclusion had been. It ended up being that he thought we should stop seeing each other...he said that he felt God was telling him that his role in my life was done...I don't completely agree with that...but I do think that this was for the best at this time. I am sad, because Matt struggles with the idea of us still being friends...and I do care about him very much and would be incredibly disappointed if he were not in my life at all anymore. I so strongly hope that we can still be friends...I know that he will absolutely remain in my heart and that I will continue to pray for him.
I think the one positive thing in this situation is simply my emotions....though there is sadness, I do feel very much at peace with this. I know that Matt was there for me at a time when I really truly needed him...and I am so thankful to God for putting him in my life...but I know that God has given me the strength to stand on my own two feet...and that I can survive this. If God did not see fit to keep Matt and I together, I know that someday He will send his match for me...and I pray that Matt finds his match someday as well.
The thing that keeps going through my head is that I'm okay...it still surprises me sometimes how differently things seem to affect me now.
Again a certain familiar tune is coming to mind....
Praise Him from whom all blessings flow. Praise Him all creatures here below. Praise Him above ye heavenly hosts. Praise Father Son and Holy Ghost. Amen.
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