day off...

not having a great day...started out good enough...was having a super lazy day....not productive by any means...but felt so needed.  I like my job, but that first week really wore me out.  I know that I will get used to it...so I'm not worried...but I've been really tired.  In reality I know that I've been avoiding doing anything extra, thinking that I don't want to overwhelm myself...which is true on some level...but its not just fear of being overwhelmed...there's other fears there as well...I'm finding that I'm still struggling with my social anxiety...I seem to be doing fine at work...but I think thats because its different when I'm in work mode...its not so personal...Its harder when I look at a situation where I am on my own...especially one that I have been in before.  Like going to the mix for example...for some reason I find myself so intimidated by that group...There is a part of me that wants to go, because I recognize the necessity to have more relationships in my life...because lets face it, I don't have many....I'm very thankful that the relationships I do have are close ones...but it has been pointed out to me that I need more people in my life...and I know thats true...but it puts so much pressure on me to find new relationships...and I don't exactly thrive under those particular circumstances.  

I think when it comes down to it I've been right in taking my time....and that if I take one step at a time I will be able to handle all of this eventually....