Tuesday, 5 June 2012

oops!

wow...I really need to make a point of coming on here more...I want to be writing...but its like the thought just doesn't come into my head when I am anywhere near the computer, or don't have time...so I'm glad I happened to think of it just now.  
I had my first real day of work today.  Yesterday was my orientation, just alot of paperwork and some videos to watch...today I was in uniform at the front desk.  of course I felt pretty useless lol....all you can really do the first day is to stand there and smile at people.  Saw some nice guests...saw some difficult guests....overall I'd actually say it went really good.  I wasn't frightened away by the guests or the staff...I wasn't intimidated by the job.  Everything seems pretty straightforward, I think it will just be a matter of getting to know the system and being comfortable with it.  It seems like a job that I can do...and do well in all honesty.  
The only downer is something really superficial and stupid....the uniform is too hot!!!!! I had my hair and makeup done just the way I like it when I left the apartment this morning...by the time I got back it looked like I  had barely made an effort! So somehow I have to figure out a way to stop my hair from doing its weird flippy thing that it does in the humidity, as well as find a way to not sweat all my makeup off! Now I know I haven't always been a person to be terribly concerned about my appearance....but seriously....this was ridiculous...I've been making a conscious effort to look my best every day...and the first time it actually matters (appearance it kind of a big deal in the hotel industry) this happens! ugh. okay....that was enough of a little rant about that. it was just frustrating.  oh....and I guess thats not the only downer....did I mention how much my feet hurt? lol.  I'll get used to it at some point...well at least after I buy better shoes...whenever that may be.
Anyways, I am at home in my comfy clothes...with my feet up....finishing off the veggie tray mom sent up with me...it is definitely time to relax.  I've got an appointment with Sharon (the psychologist) tomorrow afternoon...looking forward to it...I like talking to her.  I saw Richard and Vi the on Saturday (and actually ran into them at church on sunday too) but it was really good to talk to them.  They seemed really happy that I was doing so well.  They thought that the job I found sounded perfect for me.  We prayed that things would continue to go well for me....and for the people I care about...even though things in general are going very well for me...I am finding myself very aware of any little blips in my relationships...and automatically find myself wondering if its because of me and the events of last month...I tend to assume...and I have to force myself to talk about it instead of just assuming...because assuming just tends to make me feel so much guilt...when for all I know it doesn't even have anything to do with what I am thinking....It feels like over and over again I am talking to God and trying to give these feelings up to Him...because I know that I am forgiven...I know that I am not the same person that I was a month ago.  I feel it in everything I do these days, in every conversation I have. Thats why I say that in general things are going very well for me...they are! they really really are...but of course no life is perfect, and so there are issues...I think the biggest difference for me in all of this is that I seem to be able to handle those issues....because I certainly couldn't before.

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